Believe It Or What?

Although some readers of magazines like Popular Mechanics might be attracted to ads for the EGO lawn mower this summer because of its innovative 56-volt lithium battery technology which allows consumers to cut their lawns with the efficiency of a gas mower, my attention will continue to be drawn to the appealing phrase found beneath the wheels of the silent, silver beauty: “Power Beyond Belief.” Like Neil Diamond, I’m a believer.

Oh, it’s not that I have tried the mower. What I believe in is the power of ballyhoo. That slogan reminded me of the attention-grabbing callouts on the posters for Walt Disney’s own bit of innovation, a 1944 feature film combining live action and animation. The double-barreled come-on for The Three Caballeros was “Thrilling Beyond Words! Amazing Beyond Belief!”

It appears that the advertising world is ready now to go once again one step beyond in descriptions so here are some catchy taglines just waiting to get caught:

Despicable Beyond Yosemite Sam

Puerile Beyond Pee-wee Herman

Saccharine Beyond “Sugar, Sugar”

Dazzling Beyond Off-White

Calamitous Beyond Cleopatra

     Insufferable Beyond Endurance

Bilious Beyond Lawrence Tierney

Derivative Beyond Fast and Furious 12

Loopy Beyond “Little Latin Lupe Lu”

Colossal Beyond Lilliputian

Hackneyed Beyond a Beatles Tribute

Pricey Beyond Tiffany & Co.

Overexposed Beyond J. Lo

Malodorous Beyond Odorama

     Felonious Beyond Ponzi

Abominable Beyond the Frostiest Snowman

Wretched Beyond Beyond Valley of the Dolls 

For those who think I have become holier beyond thou, I will take my ego and do my cutting up somewhere Beyond the Sea.



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