More speculations for revisionists to consider:
What if in 1913 Pearl Curran had been visited by the spirit of a 1960s comedian instead of a 17th century woman? Instead of seeing “Patience Worth my name” on her Ouija board, would the letters have spelled out “My name Jose Jimenez”?
What if Allen Pinkerton had founded Pinkerton Slowpoke Delivery Service instead of Pinkerton National Detective Agency? Instead of “We Never Sleep” for a slogan, would the motto of his company have been “We Always Creep”?
What if the star of The Postman Always Rings Twice had adopted a child who was employed as an errand boy at theaters? Would he have been known as Page Turner?
What if someone had given President Garfield’s assassin, often described as a disgruntled office-seeker, specific directions to the office he was seeking? Would he then have been gruntled?
What if James Monroe had been a butterfingers anytime something was tossed his way? Would his term in the White House have been known as the Error of Bad Fielding?