The Plateful Dead

     Almost every trip to a local store will bring us into contact with vehicles bearing vanity plates. While most drivers are pondering over what the combination of seven letters and/or numbers mean, my thoughts are far away as I ruminate about the famous folks no longer with us. Surely in some aery realm the status-conscious who reached earthly heights must be navigating from cloud to cloud or sphere to sphere bearing a badge of identification fore and aft. Look up instead of down and see the plates coming into view right now…

James Stewart: WALLA

Frank Sinatra: DOOBYDO

Joe DiMaggio: 56IN41

Phyllis Diller: WLDHAIR

Elvis Presley: KNGCREO

Rocky Marciano: WINBYKO

Eliot Ness: LAWMAN

Roy Schneider: JAWSMAN

Helen Gurley Brown: COSMOED

Anna Nicole Smith: TOPHVY

James Cagney: UDRTRAT

Jack Lord: BOOKEM

Julia Child: COOKEM

W.C. Fields: ROOKEM

Richard Dawson: FAMFEUD

Elizabeth Taylor: CLEO

Walter Cronkite: WAYITIS

Larry Hagman: JREWING

Alex Karras: MONGO


Jack Webb: JFRIDAY

J.R.R. Tolkien: MIDERTH

Aristotle Onassis: NETWRTH

Don Knotts: BARNFIF

Harriet Hilliard: OZSWIFE

Coco Chanel: NUMBER5

Gore Vidal: BESTMAN

Vincent Price: PHIBES

Lionel Hampton: VIBES

Edmund Hillary: UPSTEEP

Jacques Cousteau: GODEEP

Donna Summer: HOTSTUF

Warren Spahn: WINSOME


Lou Gehrig: IRONMAN

William Holden: AU NBOY

Bud Abbott: WHOSON1

Lou Costello: WATSON2

Milton Berle: MR TV

Johnny Unitas: MR TD

Betty Grable: GAMYQT

Eddie Cantor: POPEYE

Hal David: WALKNBY

Cliff Robertson: CHARLY

Cliff Arquette: CHARWEA

Roy Rogers: HPYTRLS

Wilson Pickett: N12AMHR

Edgar G. Robinson: MYWAY C

Marvin Hamlisch: NTRTANR

Colin Clive: DRFRANK

Sally Rand: THE FAN

Stan Musial: THE MAN

George Marshall: THEPLAN

Harold Stassen: ALSORAN

Ray Bradbury: SUPPOSE

Artie Shaw: PROPOSE

Dan Blocker: HOSS

Roger Williams: BORNFRE

Harry Truman: TAKNOGUF

Alfred Hitchcock: MACGUFF

Patty Page: TNWALTZ

Fatty Arbuckle: TUMYOUT

Edgar Bergen: DUMMYUP

Waylon Jennings: OUTLAW

Jane Russell: OUTLAW2

Judy Garland: NOTINKS

Gary Cooper: YEP

Greta Garbo: NO

Nelson Eddy: CALLINU

Broderick Crawford: HWYPATR

Dick Clark: OLDTEEN

Bob Hope: THX4MEM

Bing Crosby: GONMYWA

Steve Allen: SMOCK

Lenny Bruce: SHOCK

Ed Wood Jr.: SCHLOCK

Johnny Weissmuller: ITARZAN

Maureen O’Sullivan: MEJANE

Georgia Gibbs: HERNIBS

Marjorie Main: MA KET

Jack E. Leonard: MOCKIT

Barbara Billingsley: JUNCLEV

Marlene Dietrich: BLUANGL

Soupy Sales: PIEEYED

Jack Benny: 39 4EVR

Don Meredith: DANDY D

Frank Gorshin: MIMIC

Bobby Pickett: GIMMICK

Yul Brynner: KINGISI

Arl Linkletter: PEOPRFN

Clara Bow: IT

Fred Allen: WIT

Gabby Hayes: SIDEKCK

George Raft: COINFLP

Minnie Pearl: HOWDEEE

Elizabeth Montgomery: BWITCHD

Christine Jorgensen: SWITCHD

Ernest Hemingway: BELTOLL

Ferdinand Morton: JELROLL

Lon Chaney Jr.: WOLFMAN

Lon Chaney: OP PHAN

Etta James: AT LAST

Fess Parker: DAVCROC



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