In this brave new world of candid revelations and frank dialogue, euphemisms still flourish, particularly in advertisements as companies dance around delicate matters before bluntly pushing their product. Some of the favorite expressions include full-figured, male itch, culturally deprived, feminine hygiene, plus sizes, underprivileged, and bikini waxing.
For copywriters running out of ways to do the runaround, here are a score of weasel words to help score with the boss:
Body odor: malodorously inflicted
Unable to carry a tune: tongue-depressed
Clumsy: dexterously inadequate
Rundown farmhouse: rustically decrepit
Mushmouth: linguistic elider
Four-foot tall adult: height-imperfect
Lazy: energetically deficient
Constant candy eater: fructose-dependent
Repaired vase: formerly-flawed ceramic
Habitual criminal: ethically maladjusted
Football player with bad hands: pigskin-shy
Used car lemon: mechanically defective
I would like to continue adding terms to this list, but I am just a klutz at the keyboard. Wait a second—make that faulty-fingered.