Dress Up the Home

     Interior decorators get their inspiration from all over, maybe even from their closets and dresser drawers. In the February/March Traditional Home one of the people responsible for the look in a Fort Worth home declares that the sheer panels which accent the French doors in the sunroom “are the color of nude panty hose.”

     After wondering for a few moments whether the drapery would discourage Peeping Toms on the outside or attract legmen on the inside, I considered some possible ramifications of clothing creeping out of the bedroom and stealthily easing its way downstairs like subversive Slinkies intent on taking over the living quarters.

     Look for the new style of wallpaper to come from the Stanley Kowalski Collection featuring the signature T-shirt shade of very off off white.

     Red flannels or red suspenders will no longer be reserved for firemen in corny jokes once the flaming tones of crimson and scarlet are ablaze on the curtains of chic living rooms.

     Reading chairs in danger of casting a pall of lassitude over the library will wake up and take notice when upholstered in satin patterned after plaid pajamas.

     Sisal carpets that rarely sizzle stretched out in drab camel tones get over the hump with a bold look that captures all the blushing tones of pink panties.

     Staid brown leather sofas will give way to the brilliant patina of shiny, happy slipcovers made from blue serge suits.

     Lifeless dining rooms are a thing of the past when the tablecloth sparkles in the basking glow of bright orange hunting outfits and chairs covered in zebra-striped damask copied from provocative boxer shorts.

     The kitchen will not be neglected with mosaic tiles the hue of a grease monkey’s coveralls and a granite countertop the color of taupe tights leading to the curvilinear sink area complete with backsplash textured and tinted exactly like a black raincoat.     

     So be prepared for an onslaught of argyle rugs, paisley-jacketed Jacuzzis, camisole wall panels, ottomans garbed in turquoise Capris, divans swallowed by peach-swirled muumuus, and corduroy cardigans creeping up the walls as wainscoting. The slogan for the new trend in home decorating is already here: “You won’t wear it out by wearing it in.”       


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