Some more verses about authors and the sporting life with additional quatrains about love in observance of Valentine’s Day this month:Frost thought the free type of verse Was like playing tennis without a net; I think I can be almost as terse; It’s like taking a bath without getting wet. A famous poet was ofttimes frowning, Though he wasn’t above a little clowning; Asked by Mr. Fanning, “Want a good tanning?” He replied, “No thanks. I’m just Browning.” The ways of mating are indeed strange, Though for proof I can offer little data; But I once heard a pastor say at a wedding, “Do you promise to love and honor, through VHS or Beta?” Football players should stop whining, “Our sport with violence is rife.” That’s like a hooker who complains That there are too many men in her life. Proposing these days must be unique Like while skydiving or skiing or cherry-picking; Now when a man gets down on one knee It means he is holding and she is kicking. Readers who walk in spirit with Dante Get to know well the home of sin; When told expressly where to go, They say, “No thanks. I’ve already been.” Trash talking in sports is all around, We find it in both city and wood; At a playground came this spicy taunt: “Your mama don’t change your diapers too good.” The age of longing is supposed to be The time of listening to Love’s sweet tales; I missed that age when I went like a shot From puberty to menopause for males. I wonder what an agent would say today If Steinbeck showed up with his very best: “Love it, Johnny, but the title’s a downer. Let’s change it to The Joads Go West.” The wheel of love keeps throwing people off, Hearts are broken as part of the price; The ride might be smoother with crying towels Or some other bawl-bearing device. Christie was bride to Billy Joel, Paulina thinks Ric Ocasek is swell; Love is blind, to be sure, But it must be dumb as well. The demands of free agents are becoming steep To play a sport before the madding throng; One player said, “The dough you owners can keep. All I want is a Boeing and the rights to Hong Kong.” Making love used to be so simple, And it must have been just as real; Now it seems that nothing can be done in bed Without something that carries the UL seal.