Past Imperfect 3

Some additional historical speculations to consider:

What if Neil Armstrong had seen something frightening as he was stepping off that ladder in 1969? Would his historic words have been “A small furry thing over there, a quick exit outta here”? 

What if, instead of persuading members of Congress to purchaseAlaska in 1867, William Seward had talked them into buying a Parisian nightclub? Would critics have called that acquisition Seward’s Folies Bergére? 

What if André Malraux had harbored a secret grudge against a contemporary German author? Would he have insisted that his 1937 novel be translated as Mann’s Fat?  

What if Aaron’s Burr’s last words to Alexander Hamilton before their duel had been recorded? Would his final taunt have been “I wager ten dollars that no one will ever see your face again”? 

What if some labels on one of Little Richard’s singles had been printed upside down? Would collectors avidly search for copies of the inverted “Jenny, Jenny”? 

What if Hiram Bingham had found a Peruvian mountaintop overflowing with ragweed instead of stumbling upon Machu Picchu? Would he have called his discovery Ah Ah Achoo? 

What if Francis “Swamp Fox”Marion had just counted British soldiers for the colonials rather than fought against them? Would his nickname have been the Swamp Adder?

What if Ernie Banks had been a lazy grouch instead of an affable competitor during his career in baseball? Would he best be remembered for saying, “Let’s stay in the clubhouse and not play any today”?


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