In the Doggerel House 2

Some apposite verses now that spring is in the air and sports very much on the airwaves:

Frost wrote in Sports Illustrated that corruption
Should not rob college sports of its special gloss;
He would be turning over in his grave if he learned
The only schools not on probation are TCU and Holy Cross.
Croissant is not an easy word to spit out,
Some diners spell it rather than meet that foe;
One cheerleader told a waiter (and everyone else about),
“Give me a C, give me an R, give me an O…”
The modern athlete who can’t be pleased
Sheds tears that aren’t worth buying;
He wants to renegotiate
While the ink on the contract is still drying.
Sports have sponsors enough and how!
Even The Illiad would get a new title now:
Paris Is Alive and Well
And Living with Jocks’ Prell.
Magazines hit every niche these days,
You don’t know what you may be holding;
This month I picked up a copy of
Vernal Equinox Paper Folding.
Joe “Red” Glare took long shots for Houston,
To stun his old coach he used balls that would tear;
The Rockets’ Red Glare, his bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof to B. Knight that our wag was still there.
No one is to blame anymore,
A thought that caused a goaltender to reflect;
After a puck bounced off his head,
He blamed all his crimes on mental deflect.
Ah, to be in Paris in the spring
When a young man’s fancy turns to–
Nowadays he may be in love with
The cuckoo whose nest over which one flew.
I once heard of a small town in Spain
Where extra fingers is one of the common traits;
I’d go to see their soccer team in sunshine or in rain
Just to watch the players giving each other high eights.  
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